Sunday, October 10, 2010

Dream of My Child (written Fall 2008)

Dream of My Child

I’ve always wanted dark children. I’ve always been fascinated with dark skin. When I lived in Utah, there was one girl who was Native American, and I thought she was so cute.  When I stayed in a small Peruvian village as a teenager for a charity trip, I thought the children were adorable.  I loved their big brown eyes and black hair and brown skin.  I wanted to take them home with me and adopt them, but of course I couldn't take them away from their families! And of course I was just a teenager and could not provide for them.

A few years later, I had a dream that my first baby was a baby with brown skin, and the father had dark brown skin, with long thick black hair and bangs that kept getting in his eyes.  However, he was very ugly with a huge nose and he was tall and skinny. Not what I would find attractive.

The baby was also very ugly, with hair coming out of his ears and crying the whole time. But regardless of how ugly the man and the baby were, I’ve always felt this dream was a premonition, that, if I’m supposed to marry a man, and I have been brought up believing this my whole life, that the man will have brown skin and I will have brown children.

That is what I’ve always thought will let me know if a man is to be my husband – he will have brown skin. And I hope I would be sexually attracted to this man but that’s not a guarantee. So if he is to be my husband, I want to make sure that I will be a good wife and enjoy sex with him but my main goal with him would be to get pregnant. If he even exists.

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