Beautiful Vs. Hot* (written 2005-2008)

Beautiful Vs. Hot*

Yes, there is a difference –

Hot, being more readily apparent,

is much easier to spot from a distance,

yet can lose appeal in close-up.

While beautiful may not be as

noticeable from far away, it

is undeniable up close.

Men, the dumber sex,

are more likely to be attracted to the hot

than to the truly naturally beautiful.

Though women can appreciate both,

they usually lean towards the beautiful.

Yes, truly beautiful women

can also be hot,

depending on the outfit

or hairstyle or make-up,

but someone who can be hot

is not necessarily beautiful.

Hotness is more about the clothes,

hair, make-up, attitude.

Hotness is attainable.

Hotness can be achieved by anyone,

but not stunning beauty.

Beauty is in-born.**

(And then there are those

who are anointed as beauties

simply because they’re famous,

but take away the fame, and

you have very plain women).

The women who seem

to be the most naturally

beautiful (to me) are: Indian women (who

are the most beautiful women in the entire world,

though, in contrast to Bollywood’s ideal, 

I much prefer the darker-skinned Indians to the lighter-skinned!),

Polynesians, South Asians, Persians, Filipinas, Arabs, and Latinas,

because these women have

brown skin (which looks better without

foundation make-up than does white skin,

which almost always

requires some sort of foundation, thus

not naturally beautiful), 
can grow long black hair, 
which I think is the prettiest hair
(though I also love natural red hair!),
and have dark eyes and

strong dark eyebrows,

which means they don’t

need eye make-up.  Beauty

is more about the eyes

than almost anything else

(most important

are the facial features

and how they fit

together, but

beautiful eyes

do me in everytime),

and strong eyebrows

and dark eyelashes

are vital to beauty (for me).

(Pretty is what people usually

mean when they call a

woman beautiful.  Many

women are pretty, very

pretty.  But truly beautiful? 

Universally beautiful? 

That is a rarity.  As

it should be).

Hot women need cosmetics,

Beautiful women don’t.

Hot women have to

work at being hot and

when they don’t try,

they can be unhot.

But beautiful women are

always beautiful.

Beautiful women are.

Hotness fades.

Hotness dies.

Hotness takes effort.

Beauty lasts.

Beauty lives.

Beauty is.

Screen Legends:

Greta Garbo – not pretty or beautiful in the traditional sense, not hot, but an interesting face

Jean Harlow – Hot, not beautiful

Jane Russell – Very, very, very Hot, not quite beautiful, though certainly striking

Betty Grable – Hot, not beautiful

Rita Hayworth – Hot, not quite beautiful, though certainly Pretty

Yvonne deCarlo – Hot, not beautiful, but Pretty

Lauren Bacall – Beautiful, and almost hot, but not always hot (though in “To Have and Have Not” she was smoldering)

Grace Kelly – Beautiful, exquisitely beautiful, not hot (I normally don’t find blonde women beautiful, as I like dark eyelashes and eyebrows, but her face is so beautifully formed, ah that face!)

Brigitte Bardot – Very very, very, very Hot!  Very Pretty, but not beautiful.

France Nguyen (Vietnamese actress who played the Polynesian Liat in film version of “South Pacific” – I know she’s not considered a legend, but there are so few Asian movie stars or Polynesian movie stars, which is ridiculous because they are such beautiful women) – very Pretty, almost Beautiful, not really Hot

Audrey Hepburn – Pretty, but not beautiful (to me -- even with those eyes), not hot

Jayne Mansfield – Hot, not beautiful (but her body was beautiful, as was Marilyn’s)

Tuesday Weld - Hot, not quite beautiful, but very Pretty and Crush-worthy!

Dawn Wells – Pretty, not hot, not quite beautiful

Tina Louise – Hot, very Pretty, not quite Beautiful
Sally Field – Pretty, not beautiful or hot (but another childhood crush!)
Stevie Nicks – Hot, but not traditionally pretty or beautiful (she was my first celebrity crush – I fell in love with her when I was in first grade and saw her photo on my parent’s Rumours album cover – I recognize that she doesn’t cultivate an image of being “hot” but I consider her hot, and this is my list of beauty and hotness)

Debbie Harry – Beautiful and Hot – that face! Wow! (also when I was in first grade, I was in love with the song “The Tide Is High,” but had no idea what the singer looked like – if I’d known, she and Steve Nicks would have tied for the title of my first celebrity crush! Also, the best compliment I ever got was when I was in high school and a guy in one of my classes told me I looked like Debbie Harry – I’m not worthy! – since then, I’ve been told I look like Daryl Hannah, Kim Basinger, Sharon Stone, Molly Sims, but never again like Debbie Harry. Also, I understand when we’re told we look like celebrities, we don’t actually look like them, but there’s just enough of a resemblance, even if it's just hair color, to make the comparison))

Marilyn Monroe – Very, Very, Very Hot, Blazing Hot (subject of my first sexual dream), but not beautiful at all, not even truly pretty, even after the nose job and chin implant, but oh-so Hot and Sexy!

Elizabeth Taylor – Absolutely Beautiful and Very Hot (so stunning, she can’t be missed, but the beauty is true in long view and in close-up, with and without make-up, truly the most beautiful woman who has ever lived -- when I see pictures of her I get so overcome that I cry)

Today’s Actresses/Singers/Models:

Pamela Anderson – Hot, not beautiful

Jennifer Lopez – Hot, not beautiful (but one of the sexiest women who’s ever lived)

Shakira – Hot, not beautiful (but another contender for sexiest woman)

Cindy Crawford – Definitely very Pretty, but not sure about beautiful?  Definitely Hot, though!

Julia Roberts – Very Pretty, but in an unusual way, not beautiful, but with the right look, can be quite Hot (as in “Pretty Woman”), but not always

Courteney Cox –Very Pretty, not quite beautiful (but almost!), not hot

Salma Hayek – Beautiful, not always hot, though sometimes

Christy Turlington – Beautiful, not always hot, but (the most?) beautiful face -- even though she’s blonde, her features are so perfectly formed, quite breath-taking

Robin Wright – Beautiful, not hot (beautiful face even though she’s blonde)

Michelle Pfeiffer – Beautiful, not always hot, though certainly can be Hot (beautiful face even though she’s blonde)

Tia Carrere – Hot, not Beautiful

Jessica Biel – Very, very Hot, not quite beautiful, but Very, very, very Pretty

Gisele Bundchen – Very, very, very Pretty and Very Hot, not quite beautiful

Eva Mendes – Very, very, very Pretty and Very, very, very Hot, but not quite beautiful (in fact, compared to Angelina and Elizabeth Taylor, it really is quite difficult to call other women beautiful)

Alicia Keys – Pretty, not beautiful, not hot

Gwen Stefani – Hot! Not traditionally pretty or beautiful, but so hot

Padma Lakshmi – Beautiful and Hot

Rachel Roy – Beautiful and Hot

Catherine Zeta-Jones – Beautiful, no question, and Hot, no question

Angelina Jolie – Very Beautiful and Very Hot (the closest you have to an Elizabeth Taylor in this day and age)

Discuss amongst yourselves.

*    (I myself am fine with being neither, though I was called pretty and sometimes beautiful (though never hot!) when I was younger, but now I’m too old, and I fully admit that I am neither, and, in my advancing age, I enjoy being plain, actually, but in other women, I appreciate Beauty much, much more than Hotness).

**  Also, please note this beauty of which I speak differs from the natural beauty we all have as humans – look at any human face and you will see nature’s hand at work in carving a beauty that can’t be replicated nor improved upon with plastic surgery – the natural beauty of the human face, which every human has, is quite remarkable. Now, not all are going to be model-beautiful or actress-beautiful, or attractive (and we all have our own taste of attractiveness) and that’s okay – the natural beauty of all humans is different than the beauty I am describing of the women I find attractive.

*** Also, please keep in mind that the actresses/models I've included are generally considered to be pretty, beautiful and/or hot, though this is certainly not an exhaustive list of all the pretty, beautiful and/or celebrities. These are who immediately came to my mind.

**** Also also also, please remember that I think all women are beautiful just by virtue of their being women.  This beauty is different than the beauty I speak of that all humans have. The beauty of women is a special category because there is a reason women have long been referred to as “the fairer sex.” This doesn’t mean women should be objectified – not at all. But women are inherently more beautiful than men are.  Yes, all humans are beautiful, and all women are especially beautiful, but taking those as givens, my list of beauty vs. hotness is my preference and merely my opinion of beauty and hotness in regards to what attracts me.  For example: All flowers are beautiful, but roses are more beautiful than daisies.  And of roses, I may prefer red roses above all.  This isn’t a perfect analogy, especially for me, because I don’t really care to receive flowers as a gift because I don’t think it’s practical – I’d rather receive chocolate or something I can actually use, but just trying to have an analogy for my list. 

Wives – Nov. 2008

Wives

Don’t be upset –
you’re the ones they really choose
You come first and last
We are just in the middle
a perpetual middle
and not the whole middle
just a piece of it
a diversion, an
entertaining bite
Don’t be jealous –
they can’t live on us without you
they won’t subsist
We’re just the sinful dessert
the forbidden snacking
while you’re the
main course
the substance
the meat
the sustenance,
we’re just sugar,
chocolate frosting,
potato chips
Don’t be selfish –
you get the legal benefits,
the respect
the ring
we get a few dollars
a few outings
a few meals
You want them all to
yourself? All the
money and entertainment
to yourself?
We only take a nibble
You get the full protection
You get the stability
We’re just tottering on waves
Let us have some of the pie
Though we’ll never be
legitimate or recognized,
let your husbands enjoy
themselves with us.
Give them a break
and us a night out
And don’t shirk
your responsibility -
things they would
never dare do with you
they expect of us;
they can always
count on us
because they can’t
count on you.
But we don’t have a
claim on them,
we don’t really count -
What title do we have?
What will our
Gravestones say?
We are hidden
You are public
They can talk of you
in strong, confident tones –
“My wife, my wife…”
while we must be
whispered if uttered
at all.
Be glad you are spoken,
written, acknowledged.
Be glad for visibility,
for ownership.
Be glad you can have
real children with them.
How would we explain it?
To our friends?
To our family?
To our children?
We can’t even talk
about your husbands
unless to others like us.
If our friends knew,
people from church,
what would they do?
Condemn us and
disown us.
We must always
be vague:
“I’m working late”
“I’m seeing other friends tonight”
“My job takes all my time”
“Oh, no one gave it to me.”
You get to say
“my husband.”
We don’t get to
say “my” anything. Yet
you use them just as
we do, only your
payment is far greater.
So don’t complain.
Don’t simmer in anger.
We get them off
your hands for a few
hours or a few nights.
And we can never
muster a headache.
We must always be “on.”
Beautiful.
Witty.
Entertaining.
Willing.
Waiting for them.
Worth their time and money.
We are cut no slack.
So cut us some.
Interest and patience
lost in us rarely return,
while we merely
temporarily replace
their lost interest in you
for but a morsel of time,
being chewed and
digested with no
guarantee of a
tomorrow.
Your payment and
status are fairly
secure
Ours exist only
in the dark room
where time and light
threaten our very safety.
So don’t whimper.
You know they’ll always
come home to you
Maybe not tonight
or tomorrow
or even next week
but they’re yours.
They already chose you
for good.
So let them choose us
for evil.

Jack, Jane, and Jill – Nov. 2008

Jack, Jane, and Jill

Jack, Jane, and Jill
Grew up alone
On an uninhabited island
No movies, no phone
It matters not how
they arrived, these three,
Just that they’re alone,
No interference, no referee,
But fruit was abundant
And vegetables, too
And fish freely swam
In the river so blue
Their shelter was formed
In a beautiful cave
The island provided for
Any need they could crave
As the three children aged,
The girls’ beauty grew -
Jill’s lovely blonde curls,
Her eyes sparkling blue,
Especially twinkling
Each time exotic Jane,
With her striking dark features
And wavy black mane,
Would hug her and kiss her,
And both their soft breasts
Against dewy skin
They eagerly caressed
Jack, on the other hand,
His hair straight and brown,
eyes with no mystery,
smile looking down,
(comparatively) plain features
And body like a square,
Did nothing to intrigue
Jane and Jill to care
For him like they cared
So deeply for each other,
(Though they truly adored
Jack as a surrogate brother)
For dear Jill and Jane
had such a strong bond
Jack just couldn’t penetrate
With any kind of wand
(though he thought it
magic, glowing with light,
Jane and Jill saw its ugly
form as a blight),
They could snuggle together
And not say a word
Yet still convey meaning
Which Jack found absurd,
And their laughter and jokes
Jack didn’t understand,
nor their secret sly smiles
As they walked hand-in-hand
With no outside forces
To say Jack was cute
Or the “Big Man on Campus”
Or wealthy, to boot,
Or to raise up their status,
Make them envied, desired,
Jack was left out of
Jane and Jill’s sensual fire
Being a young man,
Jack had his needs
His pent-up yearning,
Sprouting like weeds,
He could release by himself,
But who can resist
The eyes of a woman,
Her delicate wrist,
Her supple, sweet body,
Her lovely face, pure,
And Jack had two in
His sight, to be sure!
Do men learn to force
Or is it inborn, innate?
Did Jack give in
(unable to wait)
To his lustful wishes
And use his great might
To make them give him
What he wanted that night?
Did he take just one
Or both of them on?
Did the young women struggle,
Did they fight? Or yawn?
Did they laugh it all off?
Did they grow with child?
Was the island still peaceful?
Or chaotic and wild?
Did Jack have a favorite?
Did Jane and Jill resign
To Jack’s brawny strength?
Did they threaten and whine
And come up with arrangements
Like a figurative wall,
but let Jack think he had
the best bargain of all,
and appeasing Jack simply
Like a rare side of meat,
Jane and Jill’s time alone
Was most precious and sweet?
No matter the ending,
Whatever the refrain,
All women are Jill
And all women are Jane,
And when allowed access
To our desire’s pure will,
Jill will always choose Jane
And Jane will always choose Jill.

Ode to Women – Nov. 2008

Ode to Women

Luscious curves
Sweet lips
Soft skin
Drops of honey
Endlessly fascinating
Endlessly satisfying
Endlessly pleasing
Should be touched
kissed
tasted
explored
Slowly
softly
lingeringly
quickly
urgently
passionately
Always a new experience
Even a little is a lot
Beauty for the eyes
hands
mouth
Beauty in cold
and beauty in hot
Manifestation of divinity
Sighing
Breathing
Breath-Stopping
Gift to humankind

Ode to Men – Nov. 2008

Ode to Men

It all seemed the same
(it really couldn’t change)
only quickies, I guess,
even if not,
and not that many, actually,
and I always got something
whether money or dinner
(though I prefer money)
or a ride home
and the self-deluding
consolation that
I’m just like other girls,
and who’s to say I’m not?
I didn’t feel anything,
bad or good
I often couldn’t tell
(do I realize?)
they’re inside at first,
it didn’t affect me
or bother me, really,
but their release is my relief too
And they could do
whatever they want to me
wherever they want on me
in any way they want
for I’m very flexible
and can be bent
and stretched and pulled
and twisted and warped
and nothing hurts
(and I prefer not having to see them)
anything
except demean me
or debase me
above all on my face
(why do some girls?)
and the more of them
at once gives me
space from them all
but their coarse tongues
and rough touch
and ugly members
had no chance of
awakening me
so nothing lingers for me
and pleasure is absent
so no meaning appears
and thus no sense of shame
or sin
I just receive them
but not be there
anywhere
ever